Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I'm big in Japan, and so are the hamburgers


Seriously, I'm big in Japan. No, not my blog, but as an American woman, i'm physically BIG in Japan in comparrison to their tiny race of men and women. Which is why, it surprised me to learn that Burger King has launched a new hamburger in Japan which rivals any supersized sandwich we have stateside! Bigger than the Big Mac, bigger than one of those square Baconaters(why are they SQUARE?) shaped hamburgers at Wendys, and bigger than Paula Dean's Lady's Brunch Burger!


So, it begs the question, "why Tokyo?"


My intial reaction is that is has something to do with the tsumami/earthquake. There must be a lot of people without proper food, and so BK has decided to swoop in and offer this delicious creation as a substitute, for well, all three meals. It's like those calorie bars that they feed to people in refugee camps, except, far more delicious.


I hope that Japan is only a small test market, and that we can be expecting these burgers in our own country in the very near future. I do hope that BK will also see the errors in its ways by making the chicken patty GRILLED (#fail).


I'm quickly tiring of my usual fast food hot spots on my lunch break, so I shall use this blog as a vessel to also highlight dining options for Federal (and non Federal--suckas!) employees.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Furlough averted, what to eat next...



So, the shutdown has been averted, and many people have wondering if my blog will also shutdown because it is no longer relevant. This is a feast or famine blog, so I shall now post ways to live like a fat cat on your government salary.




Step One:




Pick up your gold plated, diamond encrusted telephone




Step Two:




Call Ruth's Chris (check you local listings) and make a reservation for 7pm




Step Three:




Order the most expensive item on the menu with a side of the second most expensive item on the menu




Step Four:




Pour a little of that Bourdeaux on the floor to your fallen homies and the American tax payers.







Friday, April 8, 2011

Ain't too proud to beg, or dumpster dive



So, like most Americans, I live paycheck to paycheck. And if you're also American, you may have little or no contingency plan in the event of a furlough. This may mean you have no money for luxurious bologna sandwiches covered in Miracle Whip.
For us, I have created another section, living on no budget.

Topic One:
Dumpster Diving.

Eww, gross, never! Never say, never my friend. Although I personally have never dumpster dove (I have a french manicure), I have been on the receiving end of the fruits of someone else's labor from a dumpster. When I was 21 I was living in London, and much like today, the dollar was weak to the almighty pound. So, my flat mates regularly dove into dumpsters. The coveted dumpsters being "Patridges" in the posh neighborhood of South Kensington. The shop closed promptly at 8, and day old sandwiches were placed lovingly in a large trash bag, just yearning for someone to collect them from the dumpster. Smoked Salmon and Boursin cheese, yes please! Arugula and oven roasted turkey with sun dried tomatoes? You betcha!

SO, don't knock it till you try it, and don't try it without reading my How To guide first!

Know your local laws. In many jurisdictions trash is not considered private property, so dumpster divers cannot be charged with theft, however, some municipalities have ordinances prohibiting scavenging trash, most notably in the United Kingdom.Australian Law reflects a thinly disguised intolerance of the practice. Dumpster divers may run afoul of laws regarding trespassing, invasion of privacy,environmental,or even in some cases "Theft".In addition police in most states have "move On" powers that are often brought to bare on salvagers. Research the laws in your area or contact your local police department to inquire about the legality of diving practices.

Prepare yourself mentally and adapt your methods to avoid practices you see as disgusting. If you're still put off by sifting through trash, consider scavenging only items placed with trash but not in rubbish bins, such as furniture and sometimes crates of food.

Network with other divers (think fellow FTEs). As you get into dumpster diving, you'll likely meet other divers, and many, but not all, will be friendly and helpful. Share tips and experiences and you'll probably get some good tips in return. Consider joining an online dumpster diving forum or a local club. Other divers can keep a look out for items that you want.

Find the dumpsters in your area and keep track of when you find the best items and when the garbage collectors come. In residential areas, find out standard move-in and move-out dates.

Plan your diving according to what you're looking for. If you're just looking for unexpected treasures, you can look pretty much anywhere, but if you want something like food, search behind grocery stores and bakeries. Most stores throw out food at the expiration date, though much of it is still good, only a little past its peak. Look for larger items like furniture or electronic items sitting next to trash cans. Look online at dumpster diving forums for tips on where to go in your area.

Wear appropriate clothing. Wear protective gloves, long-sleeve shirts and pants to protect you from dirt and cuts. If you're going to actually enter a dumpster, wear sturdy fabrics such as denim, and cover as much of your body as possible. Protect your feet by wearing thick, fully-enclosed shoes or boots. Wear clothes that you don't care too much about.

Make sure no one is around and keep a look out. Dumpster diving is somewhat controversial, and divers are frequently confronted by shopkeepers or homeowners. While a confrontation is no big deal if handled properly, you should still try to avoid it. If you see people in the area, wait a while.

Keep clear the Chipotle and Panera bread in Bethesda, they're mine. Nothing like artisan bread straight from the bin, or a barbacoa taco laced with day old guacamole.

Oscar Myer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a, and so do you!


Firstly, do yourself a favor and don't google bologna ingredients.


Okay, now you're ready to cook! Err, assemble! I found a great recipe on wikihow.com:


Ingredients:


Two slices of bread (white, natch)

Bologna

Cheese (processed, obv)

Mayonnaise OR Miracle Whip

Potato chips(optional)


Steps:

1 Find a place to make your sandwich, such as a table or counter.

2 Put one slice of bread on a plate or cutting board.

3 Spread the mayonnaise or miracle whip on the bread with a butter knife (or finger if you do not have a knife)

4 Do the same thing with the second slice of bread.

5 Place a slice of bologna on one piece of bread.

6 Unwrap the sliced american cheese and place on bread

7 Pick up the other slice of bread and put it down on the first, mayonnaise side down.


Enjoy! You are well on your way to eating on a federal employee furlough budget!


I don't give a furlough


With the government shutdown looming over many people's heads, I thought I would start a blog with creative ways to eat on a budget, or no budget. The following posts will have recipe how-to's and don'ts, as well as practical life changes that will help you survive a government shutdown. Including, but not limited to, dumspter diving, craigslist announcements for services (no, not THOSE services), and putting your children out on loan to prospective parents.