Oscar Myer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a, and so do you!

Firstly, do yourself a favor and don't google bologna ingredients.

Okay, now you're ready to cook! Err, assemble! I found a great recipe on wikihow.com:

Ingredients:

Two slices of bread (white, natch)

Bologna

Cheese (processed, obv)

Mayonnaise OR Miracle Whip

Potato chips(optional)

Steps:

1 Find a place to make your sandwich, such as a table or counter.

2 Put one slice of bread on a plate or cutting board.

3 Spread the mayonnaise or miracle whip on the bread with a butter knife (or finger if you do not have a knife)

4 Do the same thing with the second slice of bread.

5 Place a slice of bologna on one piece of bread.

6 Unwrap the sliced american cheese and place on bread

7 Pick up the other slice of bread and put it down on the first, mayonnaise side down.

Enjoy! You are well on your way to eating on a federal employee furlough budget!